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No, I'm not talking about Paris Hilton, this one looks a million times better - it's the new Volkswagen Scirocco. Its name refers to a hot desert wind that blows from the Sahara to the Mediterranean.
And unlike Paris, this one has genuine fans.
It's a fantastic and exciting car that's stayed pretty close to its concept design - the IROC. Apart from changing its inverted trapezoid-like front grille to one which Volkswagen says is of a completely new design language.
A double-band high-sheen radiator grille now defines its front, together with the headlamps that's far sleeker than anything other Volkswagen today. The side profile curves in and out like a model's waist, and gives the Scirocco a wide, low and a sort of "ready-for-action" look. It's beautiful.
Based largely on the highly successful MkV Golf GTI's chassis, the Scirocco also has the 2,578 mm wheelbase. The model we tested came with the same 200 hp engine and the ultra-fast six-speed DSG.
But unlike the GTI, this new car (which is a coupe rather than a hatchback) is shorter than the Golf by 1,466 mm by 62 mm, wider by 51 mm compared to the former's 1,759 mm, but longer by 40 mm to reach a length of 4,256 mm.
Crucially, too, its track width has been altered. The front is now 35 mm wider than the GTI while its rear has gained 59 mm.
So for those who would prefer all of that "in English, please", the car's increased width and shorter height spells great news for its centre of gravity, and therefore, its handling.
Which also means bad news for all the sceptics who are thinking that it's just marketing gimmick.
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The way the Scirocco tackles bends is a definite improvement over the GTI, which was already impressive. Its lowered centre-of-gravity and the modified suspension have resulted in significantly less body roll and even more stability through corners.
You sit lower than in a GTI, giving a greater sensation that matches the whole "coupe" philosophy. And now, there's even a button for you to play with and vary the way the chassis behaves. Called "DCC" (also known as Adaptive Chassis Control), three ride settings - "Comfort", "Normal" and "Sport" - are available to the driver.
They work well, too. Unlike in the Passat, a "Sport" mode here makes much more sense. Select that and you will be rewarded with firmer damping and a slightly heavier steering. The "Comfort" mode, on the other hand, will be the one to choose for long drives as it is far easier on the bum.
But don't expect this to ride like a Passat, though; the Scirocco is engineered for those who will love to drive it rather than fall asleep in it.
Inside, it's hardly different from the Eos, which disappoints a little as the dramatic and drop-dead gorgeous exterior would have caused a spike in your heart rate, leaving you wanting more sexy cues and something to go "whoa!" about.
In any of its four sports seats, you will feel that comfort and grip aren't compromised. They're well designed and balance between providing enough hold every time you feel psyched up and want to reach for its capabilities. Even after being in the car for hours, you won't be suffering from a sore back.
In fact, even after being in it for hours, I didn't want to get out. I had to, though, but only because I was running out of petrol. The other problem was, after I'd gotten out, I didn't want to get back in. Standing outside and admiring its looks was equally pleasurable.
Every little detail from its headlamps, to its rims, tail lights and even the tailgate's subtle bulges which house its hinges are all works of art.
It's worth mentioning again - this car is absolutely gorgeous.
It's a brilliant example where the car's designers and engineers have won. No one will find the sales and marketing team in the dungeon till it's too late, anyway.
But that is exactly where the danger lies. The biggest problem with the Scirocco is not the current state of the economy, no, it's actually its design.
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Because it's so visually special, it could be one of those cars which lose their appeal when many start appearing on the roads. Once people start seeing a few every day, it could lose that magic touch.
A car that looks too good may lose its appeal too soon, and that's a huge concern when the designers and sales departments fight it out. It could lead to sales declining and the return on investment being in the red.
However, I'm desperately hoping that in a few months' time, Volkswagen will write me a nice letter saying, "Haha! You were wrong, stupid! We've sold them out!"
The Scirocco is a stunning machine as a whole. It may have many of its parts through donations from its siblings like the previous GTI and the Eos, but thanks to that, Volkswagen have managed to keep its costs down and create something that is extremely, extremely desirable.
Most importantly, it's affordable. For a starting price of $93,300 (with COE), you can get the Scirocco 1.4 TSI. Fitted with the 1.4-litre twin-charged engine, this little power plant not only puts out 160 hp, it's economical on fuel, too. And mated with the seven-speed DSG, it launches from 0-100 km/h in a quick 8 seconds.
For those who want more, the Scirocco 2.0 Sport TSI (the one we tested) starts from S$119,800 (with COE). Zero-to-hundred is completed in 7.2 seconds (same as the previous GTI). Keep your foot down and you will soon see up to 235 km/h.
But hang on to your pants - there's a new Scirocco that's just been revealed. And it has an "R" badge. A Volkswagen insider estimates that it will be launched near the end of this year. While it still has the same 2.0-litre block as the current Scirocco, the clever Germans have managed to squeeze out 265 hp and 350 Nm from it.
We're betting that it will be one hell of a car to own, but that's only if you can resist rushing to the showrooms and, in a month or so, be among the first few owners of something this special.
Hopefully, by that time, Volkswagen would have sent me that letter and perhaps, by some miracle, it will be stuck on a large, heavy crate that measures more than 4,256 mm long, 1,404 mm tall and 1,810 mm wide. And when I tear open the envelope, the message will read, "Haha! You were wrong, stupid! We've sold them out. But we've kept one for you =)."
Ooh, I'm already psyched up!
