Review
Imagine the A7 wasn't desirable enough, and for some reason needed to be put through Top Gun school? The RS7 is exactly that - my favourite car packed with performance, technology and a whole new body. Wider, stiffer and sharper.

The RS7 avoids the typical sporty upgrade route of dressing up muscle. This isn't Dave Bautista or Dwayne Johnson in a suit. This isn't Ferdinand on steroids. This is the work of pure German engineering undisturbed by marketing moguls. Even the launch video was done by engineers sounding like Tom Cruise high on scientology. No brand plastering. No elitist bullshit. Pure car. Pure figures. Performance where it deserves.

Design-wise, there is no patronage paid to Italian melodrama. It is how you would draw rockets and space cars as a kid - except for the fact that you are more mature than the folks who drew Cybertruck.

There's no curvy nonsense. Edges are pronounced. Fierceness preserved. None of that aerodynamic drag reduction that makes modern cars resemble parts of Cardi B (sorry S Class).

The aesthetics of the RS7 are perfectly on point. The symbolic sweeping roofline stands out bolder than before, with the commanding spitfire front fascia completing its aggressive stance. Engineered so well that there is never a bad angle, never a double chin. Futuristic enough to remain of archeological significance should you travel a thousand years back in time and carve its shape on the Mayan temple walls.

Performance? 591hp and 800Nm of Torque layered in usable, everyday luxury feels like the ride comfort of a Shinkansen compared to its spartan counterparts in the M,AMG depts.

The V8 is over. I mean, literally, in the EV age. 0-100 EV figures are more of a free botox affair than giving the brain time to live in the moment of sheer unadulterated acceleration.

Yet we all want this pinnacle moment in combustion engineering. And we want it dressed like an RS7. A daily, futuristic thunderbolt that 40 years later will be timeless yet commanding. A mild hybrid that reminds us we tried to save fuel anyway.

Perhaps this is the only time beef deserved worshipping. Combine that with a RS bloodline worthy enough to drip into Lamborghini's stable. A combination so potent and respectable that for once, M doesn't have it all. The RS7 is truly the best.

What I like
Unmatched engineering supremacy (ignoring nationalistic stereotypes)
- supreme build quality and materials
- potent V8 powertrain and points for hybrid intent
- 22" medieval shield-worthy rims
- military grade cockpit and futuristic instrumentation
- all wheel drive, steering and mature safety features
- comfortable for everyday drive

What I do not like
- doesn't have a button to fire rockets
- doesn't fly