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One used to have the leeway to be a bit fussier with their choice of hot hatch, but the pandemic is global: Hot hatches are slowly becoming a rarity. Those that survive the swim to Singapore after fighting through a sea of treacherous taxes? An even narrower minority.
Since endangered species are meant to be treated with more tenderness and love, the existence of the latest BMW M135 - and the fact that BMW has confirmed that it will arrive on our shores - should already be celebrated, regardless of what you have to say about its styling.
But as the car demonstrates, it manages to rise above beyond the lustre of merely being, to stand as a formidable (if not surprisingly breathtaking) machine with the ability to still keenly delight.
The range-topper of the fourth-generation BMW 1 Series, the M135 xDrive is BMW's throat-clearing reminder that amidst its performance crossovers like the X2 M35i, and even larger SUVs like the six-cylinder X3 M50, it hasn't forgotten about the hot hatch. Like those cars, this isn't a full-fat M model but an M Performance one, meant to provide delectable, extra performance over your run-of-the-mill 1 Series without reaching into the stratosphere of a track-focussed car.
With the way it's gone about the styling of this latest-generation, it's likely BMW doesn't want you to forget about the M135 either.
Unlike the standard 1 Series, the fact that those signature twin kidney grilles morph into a single hexagonal piece from afar gives it a rather un-BMW-like look at first glance. In fact, if you've been spending any time at all on social media recently, it's likely that it was the 1 Series in this particular form that has gotten the internet hordes riled up.
Still, things are pulled quite quickly back into more familiar territory the longer you spend with the car. The mind can wrap itself easily around the new interpretation of BMW's quad-head lights; those C-pillars, meanwhile, are dependably Hofmeister-kink-y too.
Furthermore, what one cannot deny is that the M135 boasts the sort of quietly domineering presence one wants on a hot hatch, with its larger air intakes, side skirts, and smattering of black glass all over. Two pairs of 90mm-exhausts even flank its rear diffuser, signalling to the driver behind that they'll have their work cut out for them should they choose to give chase when the lights go green.
On the inside, things are less distinct from the standard 1 Series.
By default, BMW's smallest gets a far more modern-looking cabin than before, and on top of this, the M135's cabin sprinkles over the same typical M Performance elevations: Alcantara-washed seats and a small dose of M colours all over. As a special touch (also available as part of the M Sport trim), three streaks - in blue, red and purple - run from behind the car's Curved Display out to the edge of the dashboard.
To be honest, on a very wet day across southern Bavaria with limited visibility, we were nowhere near pushing this Signal Green hatch to its limit.
Still, while shooting back from Maisach to central Munich and, er, running late to hand the keys back over to the team, one quickly gets the sense that this is exactly the sort of a machine suited to time-sensitive situations.
The M135 xDrive revels in being driven with urgency. The ever-expanding universe of electric cars (particularly, electric crossovers) have somewhat distorted the value of power, and while its 4.9 second 0-100km/h timing may therefore not be particularly eye-popping today, its 296bhp and 400Nm of torque are still plenty of punch for a fairly light compact hatch.
Out on the Autobahn, there is a measured fieriness to the way it rockets forward. Set it into Sport, give the pedal a good shove, and at once, it's a semi-violent green blur (mixed with some water spray) powering past slower moving traffic.
Earlier hot hatch-ified variations of the 1 Series were characterised by their febrile energy, but like its direct predecessor, this new M135 is instead dependably potent. Even in the dull dampness of the surrounding environs, one feels confident at the helm.
This may be a front-wheel drive based platform, but with the car's electronics doing the work, and power sent where necessary to all four wheels, grip is still readily available. Steering feel is great too. Across all variants, the latest 1 Series already benefits from a revised suspension setup - but as standard, the M135 gets further enhancing still, including extra front and rear bracing, further lowering, and frequency selective dampers on top of its own specific sport steering.
No longer tantalised by the thought of scaring its driver, what it offers are predictability, tightness and a highly-rewarding sense of responsiveness to a driver's inputs. Those optional M Compound brakes are another highlight that instantly set the M135 apart from the standard 120 we drove with their strength, although in slower traffic they can sometimes feel a tad too 'grabby'.
Apart from that, otherwise, the M135's surprise card is perhaps the fact that it's perfectly content with being driven more sedately.
Tap the car out of Sport via that 10.7-inch touchscreen and it's instantly less hair-raising. Expecting a hot hatch to carry you along as if on clouds is foolish, but the M135's default ride quality is by no means jarring, if a little firm.
Refreshing, old-school cocktail
Again, the mere premise of its existence would have already cast the M135 in a positive light at a time when electrification continues to sink its roots into the car industry.
But what it does better is the fact that it presents a genuinely compelling package - bite-sized; (relatively) lightweight; low-riding; and with just enough power - that, in sticking doggedly to an old-school cocktail of ingredients, feels paradoxically refreshing today.
Ultimate Looker, the M135 certainly may not be, but this is a compact, proper hot hatch that you'd be hard-pressed not to file under the larger category of 'Ultimate Driving Machine(s)'.
The BMW M135 xDrive is slated to launch in Singapore before end-2024, with prices estimated to start above $300,000 (inclusive of COE).
Don't forget to check out what we had to say about the latest X3 and 1 Series below too!
