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I could have started a conversation with my "newly arrested" and attentive subjects. Giving them a ride in the MINI would have been nice too. Then, I could've been my usual, "attractively sarcastic" self, striking up a conversation on how it has a dial called an "Openometer" that tells me how long I had been driving around with bugs in my face.
Sarcasm aside, what else is new?
I was expecting the new Cabrio to be nothing but a Mark 1 shell with the new series of engines. It would have made sense, because despite having the revised series of hardtops on our shores in early 2007, MINI has let the original convertible run until now. So in similar fashion, we would have expected adherence to a sense of continuity.
It's not so much like that. When MINI face-lifted the Mark 1, we were hard-pressed to be able to distinguish new from old. But it isn't so difficult when you start getting intimate with the Cabrio. Hinges connecting the drop-down tailgate are now hidden, and you'll easily notice larger, podgier, tighter side panels that work well with a rounder front silhouette.
All of these coalesce so as to better pen down this open-air carriage in conjunction with revised safety specifications. The rear rollover protection bars are hidden inside. They pop out only during emergencies, such as accidents, by aid of computers and electro-hydraulics.
Stylistically speaking, those once visible bars gave the original convertible a toy car-like appearance. We liked that design, and the new one looks rather grown up and mature. Do you really want an adult-looking MINI?
But the good news for the retracted black canvas top - it doesn't hang around gauchely over the boot's edge like in the old one. Instead, it folds down neatly like an accordion in just fifteen seconds. This is done via a single button located on the reading-lamp console on top of the rear-view mirror. Very roadster-like in appearance, don't you think?
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The stowed rollover system also translates to better rearward visibility. Oh, and there's more boot space, too. Five litres to be exact, so it's now get 125 litres with the roof down and 175 litres when it's closed.
MINI says that the chassis has also been reinforced to compensate for the lack of hard roofing by doubling the under-floor cross-member, stiffening the A-pillars and strengthening the side sills.
Technicalities, driving impressions™
Needless to say, the Cooper S Cabriolet domiciles that terrific, raucously tuned 1.6-litre turbo from the BMW-PSA Peugeot-Citroën stable that most enthusiasts should now be familiar with.
There's still 175 bhp available at 5,500 rpm and 240 Nm of torque from a low, low 1,600 rpm. Even the fixed-roof six-speed automatic left us groping in the dark for more. But the Cooper S Cabriolet has a 100 kg weight deficit.
We won't deny that it doesn't feel the same either, but only because I had my way with an R53 MINI just hours before. After all, 100 kg is the weight of two petite Japanese girls, so imagine them permanently stuck in your MINI Cooper S hard-top - that's what it's like to drive the Cabrio, but less distracting.
The customary 0-100 km/h gallop was finished in a nicely timed 7.7 seconds, this with a full tank of petrol on a cool evening - not very far off the Cabrio's quoted time of 7.4 seconds.
The six-speed automatic was a trademark gem. It blips on downshifts, shifts up according to the appetite of your right foot, and responds really fast for a conventional torque-converter box.
Likewise with the engine. With so much low-end torque, it took everything in its stride, such as prolonged periods of full-throttle application with five people riding gunshot, although there was an insane amount of torque steer when applying power to the limit out of a tight corner. It was all good and fun in the dry, but bull-fighting the car over wet surfaces turned out to be quite unnerving.
After that little struggle came the same tack-sharp, hefty steering you'd expect from a MINI. Matching sentiments go towards the responsive and progressive brakes. The Cabrio isn't entirely free from flex. The front frame rattles a little over loose, rough surfaces such as speed strips and roads that aren't laid with tar, but it's only obvious when you're being optimistic with your speed.
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We miss the old car's exhaust note. There's not much aural pleasure to be had even if the new Cabrio shed its top. No pun intended - your nightly tunnel shenanigans will need the help of an exhaust system resembling that from the John Cooper Works garage.
There are upsides though - the new engine's easier on your wallet and the stratosphere. MINI claims a 23 percent improvement in fuel economy and CO2 emissions have gone down by 46 grammes per kilometre.
And when we weren't reaping the benefits of topless motoring, the inside of the car felt relatively quiet. Wind and road noise only posed a problem at seriously illegal speeds. The only problem would be the rear glass window which was quite small, creating large blind areas.
But wait, it gives you another reason to interact with your drop-dead gorgeous co-driver. Tell her to operate the roof while you park, or when you drive it out onto the main road. It works at speeds of up to 30 km/h. And once it's down, you'll find that rearward visibility is much improved without those crash bars.
Stacking it up
So the new Cabrio looks better and more grown up, is a great deal stronger under the skin, and drives better than expected. Like all convertibles, it still suffers from what we term, "very mild cabriolatitis," or in other words, scuttle-shake. But even as an enthusiastic point-and-squirt, it more than pleases the driving enthusiast who craves both power and narcissism.
It costs S$147,800. The next most expensive, most attention-grabbing thing on four wheels would probably be a Lotus Elise S which goes for nearly S$169,800. For the additional twenty-grand or so, you'll get a stiff, uncompromising cornering machine, two less seats and much less equipment.
Then again, we aren't making blatant comparisons. When it comes to comfort and all-round point-and-squirt abilities (bar all-out track days), the MINI Cooper S Cabriolet might be attractive, topless and all, but it doesn't arrive at your doorstep without the brains or substance to back it up.
